I do not like drama-filled holidays. I don't shop on Black Friday. I buy all my Christmas gifts waaaaaaaay ahead of time (and if you know me, it's NOT because I'm organized). All in all, I like easy holidays. In our family, Seamus can ask for 3 or 4 things from Santa and mom and dad will get him a couple of things. We don't believe in overdoing Christmas (or "Christmas gluttony"). No judgment if you go overboard, we just don't believe in it- kids are greedy enough, thank you.

Enter: Shanna's List.

How do you get on Shanna's List? You really, really, really make my life dramariffic or stressful. There are 2 levels to The List: "On Notice" for those that have made me just a little angry, and "Dark Alley" for those that should probably be looking over their shoulder.

Shanna's List

On Notice:

  • eBay. For this commercial (can't embed, sorry). I haven't bought anything from eBay in a looooong time…and now I won't be buying anything probably ever again. The commercial shows a guy who gets hand-knitted mittens from his grandmother for Christmas and gets irritated and gives a speech about how crappy handmade gifts are and how no one wants them. Anyone who gets something handmade from me should count themselves as lucky. Supplies aren't free (yarn, buttons, not to mention needles- they all add up). And all those hours I spent making it? My time isn't worthless. I'm not even counting the time I spend picking out patterns and the right yarn. Ridiculous. This is precisely what is wrong with people. No one appreciates the art of hand-making something anymore. It depresses me. I pour my heart and soul into my projects. The people who don't appreciate handmade stuff don't get items made by me anymore. I keep my energies and efforts and just head on over to Target.
  • Snow. Even though my child loves you so very much and looks adorable playing in you, you are a pain in my behind. Literally. We got 2 feet of snow this past weekend and I got to shovel off the sidewalk and dig out the car. If I had to do that every day, I'd be a bikini model.

You better hope you never meet me in a dark alley:

  • Skymall. Yes, Skymall. Those people that put those ridiculous magazines in the back of airplane seats that sell such gems as a TV timer (ever heard of a remote? They're pretty standard nowadays.), a "Dayclock" (I just can't even think who might have a need for this…drunks, maybe? Frat boys? Wait, that still falls under "drunks".), a throne (yes, a trone, like a king would sit on), a head massager (no, really, please click on this link and look at this thing), and a patch of fake grass…for your house (right…). Anyway, I…I mean, SANTA. Yes, Santa. Santa ordered a Hexbug Nano Habitat from Skymall on Dec 5th. Again, in plenty of time, no drama. Santa did not order this on Dec 20 and then get mad when it didn't arrive. They reassured Santa multiple times that it would arrive in time Christmas. Yesterday, I called Skymall because Santa still had not received it and they said that it had shipped last Thursday (Dec 17). Shortly after I hung up, Santa got an email saying that it was backordered and would not be shipping until Jan. 15. Um, what? So I called again this morning (Santa is resting up for Christmas Eve) and Person #1 told me that it was indeed backordered and that it would take 3-5 days to process a refund (that does me zero good for Christmas, BTW). Person #2 put me on hold and never came back. I hung up after 10 minutes. Person #3 said that person #1 was on crack and that the vendor said that anything ordered before Dec 7 would definitely arrive for Christmas. We'll see. I still intend on contacting the BBB about my experience. I do not appreciate being lied to and being fed misinformation just so I'll shut up. Also, the lack of communication on their part with their vendor is disgusting. Why are you with this vendor if you can't find anything out from them? This is also why I'm writing about it here. I will never order from Skymall again. I hope my experience makes you think twice as well.

Speaking of all things handmade, under-appreciated, and snow, I made Seamus a pair of mittens and a hat to wear in the very, very cold weather. They're wool and I fulled [felted] (ever thrown a sweater in the wash and had it come out about 1/16th of the size? That's a technical process when it's done on purpose called felting or fulling) them a little to make them super-warm and waterproof. I finished the mittens in time for him to wear them to school on Friday and he begged to wear them, so, of course, I let him. He came home saying that this kid called Jordan said they were ugly, so he was never going to wear them again. I hate random children- they're becoming jerks earlier and earlier nowadays. Anyway, I explained that Jordan was probably jealous because his mommy didn't make him any, but that if he didn't want to wear them again, it was OK. I finished the matching hat, figuring if he hated it, I'd just call it a day and
give it to my nephew or something. After I made the hat, he
loooooooved it. I also explained to him that I bet that Jordan said
those ugly things because he was jealous. And that people say mean
things sometimes because they wish they had what you have. He wore them this weekend in the snow. Sunday, when we were walking back from
sledding, we passed Jordan's house (the little BOY (um, whoops) who
talked crap about his gloves) and Seamus said, "See my hat? My mommy
made that, too. Do you wish your mom would make you a hat?" I was all,
"Oh crap, Jordan is going to say no and Seamus is going to rip them off
here and now and throw them down." Jordan said no, but Seamus just
said, "Well, I like them." and that was that. You go, Seamus.

And here's a funny story for you:

So, after my last post, I checked my blog stats. The blog
stats tell me where people come to my blog from if they search for or
follow a link. Anyway, I noticed that a Russian search site sent my
blog a visitor. I clicked the link to see what he had searched and why
I showed up on a Russian search site.

He searched "Mom Slave". Awesome. The title of my blog is "Wife, Mom, Slave to my Craft".

Poor, poor guy. He must have been incredibly disappointed to see me
talking about knitting patterns and Christmas trees with nary a leash
in sight. Maybe yandex.ru is trying to curb his porn addiction.

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