Today is The Day. The day my store opens. It seems silly that I’m so worried: I’ve had enough validation to know that I don’t completely suck at this, but my biggest fear is that 8pm EST is going to roll around and nothing is going to sell. It’s a pretty stupid fear- especially considering I know of at least one thing people want, but I can’t get it out of my head. I wish I had some Ambien now so I could sleep, but I can’t take it when Mike’s away- it makes me sleep too hard.

*sigh* I wish Mike were here. I normally don’t sit and pine for him while he’s away, but I am now. We’ve been married long enough and he has been on enough exercises, training things, deployments, and manditory whatevers for me to be able to get over him being gone. I miss him while he’s gone, of course, but I don’t sit and think about it all the time like I did when we were first married. He’ll be home on Thursday, but I wish he were home now. I didn’t know he was going to be gone when I decided to open. I need him here now. I need his support. I know he believes in me, but I could use a little reassurance now, thanks.

What’s going to happen if I fail? Who am I going to turn to? Who’s shoulder am I going to cry on? And if I do succeed, who’s going to celebrate with me? I’ve worked hard on this and no one knows exactly how hard except for me and Seamus…and Seamus doesn’t sit still long enough for my to cry on his shoulder and he can’t exactly toast with me in the kitchen, either. Plus, I think wine in sippy cups is illegal.

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