The one with our lives, three months later.

It’s been three months since we ended our relationship with the Army. I never know how to say what happened. I suppose, in an official capacity, we ended our time in service. How everything happened, though, it feels more like we were dumped. In Army terminology, we “separated” from the military. I suppose that works. First we had the merging of our things, then they kicked us out and we had the dividing of our things. Sounds like a divorce to me.

Three months later, though, we’re all doing pretty well. Seamus has finally found his groove and has made a lot of friends at school. He’s doing great in his studies. It’s nice to see him blossom. He has a girlfriend named Marybeth (Mary Beth?) who comes of in the afternoons from the regional school for the deaf and blind next door to his school. She’s hard-of-hearing and he is quite taken with her. I need to ask him if he wants to take her an Easter gift.

Mike seems happier, which I love. He’s been miserable in his work for a long time and to see him smiling and happy again is wonderful. It’s nice to have him back. I missed the old Mike. He says it’s still a bit odd not to be responsible for anyone else (in a leadership capacity), but it’s great not to have the phone ring every weekend with something stupid some soldier of his has done. He started school last week and is enjoying it.

I’m doing pretty well. I’m still getting used to not being a military wife. It was a label I tried very, very hard to keep off of myself, but it was always there for so many years that I have to stop and remind myself that I am not one anymore. After mourning the loss of the life I knew, I didn’t realize quite how freeing it would be not to have to worry that my husband would be going off to war ever again. Even if they started recalling people tomorrow, we’re done. Not only has he served 8 years past his initial enlistment, he’s damaged goods. They don’t want him.

I’m still looking for a job and trying to make sales on my Etsy store. If I could just get it running, I wouldn’t have to worry about the looking for a job bit. I applied for a cottage license to sell patterns knit by one of my favorite designers, but until that comes through, I suppose I can’t sell the things I’ve knit from her patterns.

All in all, though, we’re all muddling through and doing well, though.

 

The one where you handle me at my worst. Or not. That’s cool.

Tags

alabama, changes, friends that don't suck, friends that suck, job loss, mobile, starting over, support

Hello, blog, it has been a while. Nearly 3 months ago, I wrote about us getting out of the military and how my emotions ranged from excitement to despair. Since this could get rather long and wordy, I’ll knock this out in bullets.

In the past few months, we have:

• Moved to Florida (and in with my parents)
• Had Christmas
• Realized Florida wasn’t right for our future wants.
• Rented a u-Haul
• Relocated to Alabama (and in with my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law)
• Registered Mike and Seamus for school
• Paid off our car (yay!)
• Went to Mardi Gras.
• Bought Mike a motorcycle (with proper gear and classes) to free up the car more so I could get a job.
• Took care of my husband’s grandmother.
• Got myself a job with The Deathstar, AT&T
• With the support of my husband, quit that job two days later when I realized I was never going to see my child and that I could not handle it.
• Got judged by a lot of people for a lot of my decisions.
• Did what I felt was right, anyway.
• Breathed.
• Kept looking for a job. (rinse and repeat x ∞)
• Kept trudging along.
• Breathed some more.
• Tried to smile my way through all this.
• Probably failed at that last bullet, but kept trying, anyway.

Let me tell you something about the economy out here: it is HARD. I look terrible on paper. I haven’t had a job in 10 years and I never finished college. The former makes me an undesirable candidate for most jobs, the latter means I’m going straight to the trash bin. I have received exactly 2 callbacks. I interviewed for one and got a thanks, but no thanks email 2 weeks later and the other I interviewed for, felt confident about, and never got called back. Very disappointing. I got a job with The Deathstar only because I had the perquisite year of telephone customer service experience (and they were desperate). After I started working there, I started having panic attacks about not seeing my child- and I mean that literally. I worked from 3pm until 11:30pm. By the time he got home, I was gone and when he got up, I was dead asleep. I couldn’t handle it. I tried to change shifts, but when push came to shove, I walked away. Mike was fully supportive. I’m still looking for a new job.

I wrote a few months back about the people who surprise you during a crisis- how some people you would expect to be there completely pack up and leave and how others you wouldn’t expect are the ones who are really there. I’m in the midst of my own personal crisis and the people who have sat back and listened to me have truly shocked me. And to the ones who abandoned me or judged me: shame on you. I have always tried to be there for the people I love when their life was going badly. But to completely ignore me or, worse, judge me? That just plain hurts. Shame on you for kicking me when I’m down.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

Assholes aside, we’re fine. Our life isn’t settled yet and we’re still struggling from time to time, but it will get better. I know that (even if there are days I don’t really believe it).

Seamus is doing wonderful. Despite Mobile being a huge city, he’s in a surprisingly small school (there are 13 kids in his class!) and doing well. His reading is flourishing and he has made a few friends. He seems to like it, which I am happy about.

Mike starts school March 13 and is majoring in what he has always wanted to do. For now, he’s practicing riding his motorcycle (a lot) and spending time with me before he starts school.

And as for me: I’m doing well, too. I’m glad to be back in the land of too much makeup and too much rain. While I’m still more likely to dodge someone I know in Wal-Mart rather than run up to them, I’m getting used to be being back here.

And that’s it. For now.

The one where too much changes too soon.

I know I haven’t written in almost two months.

Eleven months ago (almost to the day!), I wrote about us getting out of the military, due to no longer being desirable to the military because Mike had the audacity to age. After nearly a year of back-and-forth with the military, quite suddenly, it’s finally over. We’re getting out. There is an end in sight. Seamus and I are moving down to Panama City Beach, Florida the weekend of the 18th (ish, and this is subject to change) and Mike will follow as soon as his ETS date arrives.

I’ve gone through a range of emotions since we got the news (it hasn’t helped that Christmas is quickly approaching).

They’ve ranged from this:

Too Much.

To this:

OMGYAY!!!!!

(We’re watching Elf, bear with me.)

I’m excited…and terrified. Seamus is mostly excited (save for one terrible morning when he thought we would be leaving Sophie- we’re not)- especially about starting a new school. Mike is in the same boat as me for the most part.

It’s a big change, but I’m ready to be done with the military. It has been a good run, but  I am ready to stop being SSG Trim’s wife and start being Mike’s wife and Seamus’ mom. Our future is a little unsure right now, but we’re all in this together.

The one with the 6-year-old interview.

1. What makes you happy?

You being nice to me and saying you love me and that I’m handsome.

2. What makes you sad?

Getting spankings…but I don’t get that many.

3. What makes you laugh?

Gigi saying “chicken butt” when I say “guess what”

4. What is your favorite thing to do?

Cuddle.

5. What are you really good at?

Doing homework and math and being good.

6. What are you not very good at?

Doing a LOT of homework

7. What is your favorite food and drink?

Pizza rolls and lemonade

8. What’s your favorite color?

blue and purple

9. Where is your favorite place to go?

Hershey Park

10. Who are your best friends?

Eddie, Tyler, Jordan, and Will

11. What are your favorite movies or TV shows?

Beyblade and Phineas & Ferb

12. What are your favorite books?

Good Boy, Fergus!

13. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?

Dr. Horrible

14. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?

Probably knits and plays the Wii

15. What do you do when Mommy isn’t around?

Play video games

16. What is something Mommy always says to you?

I love you

17. What do you and Mommy do together?

Laugh and  we say we love each other.

18. How are you and Mommy the same?

We have the same germs and the same hair.

19. How are you and Mommy different?

Glasses

20. How do you know Mommy loves you?

Because she says it all. the. time.

21. Who are your favorite people?

Mommy, Daddy, Sophie, and my whole family and those dogs at Tato’s house.

22. What is your favorite toy?

Legos

23. If I gave you $100 what would you do with it?

I would spend it at the dollar store.

The one with Seamus on: Mustaches

According to Seamus, when you are young, you have a mustache like this:

And when you get old, they’re like this:

Now you know.

The one with Pintrest guilt.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how much every one loves rainbows on Pintrest. People still love rainbows, but they also love doing crafts with their kids. Now, I consider myself a pretty good homemaker…well, except for the cleaning bit.

Only I'm lying about the "sorry" part.

I’m also not great at the “planning activities” bit. I can help my son do stuff, I have no problem with him helping me with stuff, but I really suck at planning and carrying out activities. I constantly see all these great activity ideas on Pintrest and feel a twinge of guilt, thinking I should be doing them with Seamus. However, every time I plan some meaningful activity that both of us will look back upon fondly years from now, someone ends up screaming and/or in tears. I don’t possess the patience to do it…so I generally just don’t do them*.

Pintrest guilt got to me. Sooooo many cute, memory-inducing activities. So, today, we made caramel apples. Nothing fancy, just apples, sticks, and some caramels melted in a pot. The caramels were by Kraft. They were mass-produced. They were bought at the store. We keep it real. By the end of this seemingly easy activity, we both ended up screaming and I’m pretty sure I cried. It. was. awful.

A couple of hours and a couple of caramel apples later, though, all was forgotten.

Apparently, they smelled good:

Yay apples!

I’m never doing this again.

* Now, I’m not saying we don’t do things together, I’m just saying we don’t do planned arts and crafts very well.

The one with a bitter family tradition.

For as long as I can remember my mother kept key lime juice around the house. She used it for all kinds of things (seriously, this stuff is great). You can use it for marinades or salad dressing or…well, in a key lime pie. (here is their website)

When I was a teenager- I know it was when I was over 16, because Mike witnessed this- my dad and brother asked me to try some straight out of the bottle. Now, when you look at this stuff, with it’s cloudy pale yellow coloring, you think it’s going to be sweet. I mean, it looks like sweetened condensed milk. Well, let me assure you, it’s NOT sweet. It’s like getting punched in the face with a brass-knuckled lime. It’s SOUR. And BITTER. and I will never forget that taste as long as I live.

Earlier this month, I bought a bottle to make a key lime pie for the husband’s birthday. My child, who loves all things citrus and sour (and has been known to drink straight from a bottle of lemon juice), has been begging to try it. I’ve even caught him smelling the bottle a few times. I’ve told him no. I’ve told him he wouldn’t like it. He would not be deterred. It was like I was trying to convince him that he didn’t want chocolate cake. It was not going to happen. Fed up with hearing about it, I gave in to him today.

I also have photodocumentation of the event.

Please note he GOES. BACK. FOR. MORE.

THE ONE WITH AWESOME GATOR WRESTLING.

And Mike won!

Also, my husband is a really, really good sport. I heart him.

Ok, maybe not gator wrestling, but it’s nearly as fun. It’s a gator scarf made from this kit for my dear friend Robyn. This scarf is really fun. I love the texture.

My row counter looks like a fishing lure.

Kinda creepy.

Looking less voodoo and more awesome.

Rawr!

This was a fun knit and once I got past the head, it started really going. I’m really pleased with him and I hope Robyn is, too.

The one with T-Mobile STILL sucking.

(The original saga is here)

Is this girl's hair huge or is it just me?

So, we’re still with T-Mobile. After spending a few weeks battling it out and writing letters and contacting the BBB (which, in case you don’t know this, is pretty much a complete waste of your time), we decided to cut our losses and ride out the rest of this contract. It all came down to the early termination fee. My husband, being the Virgo he is, just couldn’t stomach paying $400 to get out of a contract.

Today, however, Mike gets a text telling us we are eligible to convert our prepaid (AKA: flexpay) account to a “regular” account. Yay! Sounds great! As I mentioned in the original post, we could save a lot of money per month by switching to a value plan. I was thrilled. So, I dial 611 and immediately start the process. Person #1 hands me off to person #2. Person #2 starts telling me the wonders of having a postpaid account. Whatever, lady, lets just get down to brass tacks- you’re eating up my quiet time.

Before I called, I looked up the rate plans online. I am a visual learner and spoken words tend to get jumbled in my head after a while. The rate plan I wanted to switch to was $79.99, a value plan with a bunch of stuff- 1K minutes, unlimited texts, and some data. I told the rep this and she said OK, but I would have to pay a $200 migration fee. I argue back and forth with her and finally realize this migration fee thing is a bunch of bologna and to see any savings, it would take 6+ months. So, no. So, we start talking about their other family plans. I pick out one that is slightly more than the value plan and has most of the same amenities. When it gets right down to it, though, after taxes and whatnot, I would only save $5-10/month. Which would be fine, except then Person #2 tells me that I would have to extend my contract by 8 months.

Wait, what?

She explains that I will be starting on a shiny new contract and that they will have to tack on time to the end of the new contract. The way she worded it was odd- I thought she meant I only had 8 months left, which I knew wasn’t right. So, I make the woman tell me 3 times what she meant. Finally, I get that she means that I have used 8 months, which they will tack on the end of my contract, so, in essence, I would have a new 2 year AND 8 MONTH contract- almost 3 years. After I pick myself up off the floor from falling off my chair, I then ask about the value plan- at this point, paying $200 to migrate doesn’t sound too bad. She gives me the same oddly-worded statement that makes it sound like I only have 8 months left on my contract, and I ask her point-blank, “So, if I switch to the value plan, I will have to pay $200 to migrate AND extend my new contract by 8 months?” “Yes ma’am.”

Oh.

Hell.

NO.

The kicker? Even with this new contract, you don’t qualify for new phones or anything. You’re paying for the right to stay with T-Mobile. I told the woman “No, thank you.” and hung up. The wording they use is scripted, obviously, to screw with people. It makes it sound like you’re getting a wonderful deal and they’re doing YOU a favor. I can see a lot of people buying into it without asking questions and being stuck for almost 3 years. If you are in this situation, please, please, please STOP. Ask questions. Make sure you understand what is going to happen 100% before you sign your new contract. They CANNOT make you sign a new contract (even if they say they can, THEY CAN’T- at worst, they cancel your contract (they also cannot charge you an ETF if THEY cancel the contract), at best, you ride out the rest of yours at your current rate plan). You will not be turned away from the pearly gates of heaven just because you didn’t sign one. Kittens and puppies will still be fine even if you do not sign a new contract. Make the rep explain things and write them down. Get the rep’s NAME and BADGE NUMBER and record the price and conditions you were quoted. If anything seems fishy, stop. You can always call back.

I know T-Mobile is doing away with the Flexpay option (you can’t even access information about it on their website anymore). No one seems to know when the final day will be and they’re scrambling to scare everyone into switching to a regular account. Frankly, I’ll stay with my Flexpay account until the bitter end. At least it doesn’t surprise me.

The one with a super-quick baby sweater.

I knit this sweater in 2 days.

Seriously. I am an English-style knitter, which means I am slow, slow, slow and I still managed to crank out this 0-3 month sweater in 2 days. The pattern is part of The Kumfy Schlutti Collection (does anyone know how to pronounce “Schlutti”? It looks like “Sh-lutty” to me) and the yarn is “Out to Pasture” by Three Irish Girls (available exclusively at my dear friend Jenn’s yarn shop, Pulling at Strings. Go. Shop. Tell her Shanna sent you. She won’t give you a discount or anything for that, but hey, tell her anyway- it make me look like an awesome friend.)

Speaking of friends, this little bit of coziness is one of my oldest and dearest friends, Vivianne, who is expecting her first baby (a boy) next month. Congrats Viv!

Stitched in Color